Submitted August 09, 2002
I've got some crazy tales to tell..
We went to both drains....the des plaines one sucked terribly....it was
tiny, and we couldn't stand up straight in it. My back hurt for half a week
after it... It was also rather dull....Don't get me wrong though, we loved
the place anyway. Even a bad drain is a good drain for someone who feels
that dull ache of explorer's addiction. It was full of parasites, bull
frogs, and christ! A fucking bat. Flew right passed my ear and scared the
crap out of me.
Ok the second tale is a lot better, or worse...i can't tell.
The schaumburg drain. Goddamn. First night we got there, we were totally
discouraged. It was sealed pretty fuckn tight man. Forget pealing back the
corner. The gate was reinforced pretty heavily. I had my buddy support my
back as I put both feet up on the wall and tugged and pulled like mad...all
to no use. Get this though, he comes up with the brilliant idea of using a
CARJACK. Genius! We get his out of the trunk and after some fiddling with
placement and technique, we're making serious progress. Hopes are up!
Then, he realizes that its getting light. We've been here all night and
there's no way we have time enough to finish opening the thing, get in,
explore, get out and retract the jack. Man what a buzzkill....he was right
though, the place was in a park, clearly visible to anyone walking their dog
or whatnot. The last thing we needed was to be rounded up like dogs and
stamped with that "POTENTIAL TERRORIST" thing that's been used so much
recently it's running out of ink.
We went home. Fuckn lame.
Next week though, we're back and we've got two jacks. We place one on the
bottom at first but then realize that while we're creating a good lower gap,
the top of the gate is bending back in. So we pop the second one in. This
setup looked great man! It was brilliant. It took us maybe 20 mins to get
this thing popped out enough for us to wiggle in. Inside, it was
deffinetely bigger than the des plaines drain, plenty of room to stand and
walk and maneuver. A bit of water running in the middle, some topsoil and
junk...like a little brook almost. On the walls, graffitti as always and
these weird looking metal spikes protruding in about 4 rows all the way down
as far as we could see. Treacherous bastards, snagged both of us a couple
of times.
We loved this thing right away. There were mineral growths and rust and we
even stumbled upon a baby crawfish. Crazy looking thing, green...loooked
like an overgrown insect. That kind of set us on an odd tone. Feeling good
but a little concerned as to what other creatures we might find. We walked
to the end which wasn't exactly the end. It was a junction where the big
drain stopped in a square little room, with a cement wall in front, and two
much smaller round drains on either side. The drains didn't look navigable,
though someone had spraypainted JESUS and an arrow to one of them. That was
both amusing and spooky. Anyway, we start back, and just as my friend is
taking a picture of me, I start hearing this insane screach. I mean, it was
absurd. Inhuman but DEFFINETELY organic. This was not a machine, this was
something really alarmed or scared or angry or all of those. Utter fear. I
stare at my friend, who's still holding the camera waiting for the flash to
recharge.
"HEY! You hear that man? Hey!"
The bastard wasn't responding, he was trapped in the moment. He had to
finish the picture.
"Hey damnit man, do you hear that or not?!"
You have no idea how frustrating it is to have to wait to see if you're a)
freaking out for no reason or b) are in potentially dire danger.
Finally he takes the shot, I haven't developed it yet but I can't
wait....the look on my face must be pure terror.
So yes he heard it. He's scared too. It goes away for a while and we start
walking back, trying to convince each other that it's just a car engine
or...or, yes, that's it, it was a motorbike. Sure, a moped or something.
Then it starts again and it's louder! And it's not a godddamn moped.
We start running, full speed, in the water, reckless, I'm ahead and I see
his flashlight beam dance in front of me, I keep imagining the light
suddenly shooting up, him screaming, and then disappearing in the darkness
before me. I'm terrified but I'm having so much fun at the same time...This
is what my life should compose of, I think, insane urgent underground
escapes.
It stops for a while but we don't wait around to hear it again....
Though we do unfortunately, and it's again louder, clouse, who knows.
The mad dash is done, the car jacks still there, hah, my friend practically
pushes me out of the way saying "Fuck this, im going first." I forgive him,
that's what friends are for, abandoning you to wild suburban sea creautures.
I get out pulling the jacks with me. Suddenly a fould odor overwhelms us
and I get the suspicion it has something to do with the screech. It
probably didn't but it was a fun thought anyway.
We're out. Goddamn. I need another location ASAP.

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